One night 1989 we stole away
And took a midnight stroll
Cause our rooms are littered with empty beers
Half a bottle of Jim Bean and last week's pizza
I'd like to find some meaning in what's happened
I think it might be time
To put it all in a book of riddles
It's time, it's time, it's time, it's time
Time for sitting on the floor of my shower
Time for listening to bands that we both love
It's time, it's time, it's time, it's time
Time for broken memories to drip away
Time for cigarette smoke to curl up my nose
And we both know I won't be here much longer
Let's wrap it up and put it on a CD
It seems a little redundant
Snapchats and texts with the same person
I guess we can go get your brother
But I'll put on some punk rock
To down out these lies along with the truths
I have to get home on time
It's time, it's time, it's time, it's time
Time for sitting on the floor of my shower
Time for listening to bands that we both love
It's time, it's time, it's time, it's time
Time for broken memories to drip away
Time for cigarette smoke to curl up my nose
And we both know I won't be here much longer
Let's wrap it up and put it on a CD
Ever get the urge to write something, but you never have the inspiration? Like, the times I don't care to write or not are the times that I'll just have a line pop into my head and I write off of that, but right now, I would love to put my creative juices on paper, but I have no line to work off of. Guess I'll just go back to listening to these bands.
Religion, politics, opinions, fact
You try to hide your mind
And free us from any bias
But most of you fail to realize
We can control our own thoughts
We form our own opinions
There's no reason for skirting around
Just be a man, grow some balls
And voice your personal opinions
From the tongue of an inexperienced simpleton
This note should be easy to understand
I've heard all the warnings
And it seems to me
That they've proven to be true
Writing these words and,
Singing these songs
don't seem to bring me that high
And I'm sorry but I can't
Relish in the love of the crowd
Like Britain's first Asian rock star
I've let you down and I've cheated you out....
I've got it good, oh so very good,
But I'm too much of moody baby
A wife who sweats ambition
And a kid who's like a mirror
Please keep going, I'll be at your alter
Be happy without me and
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
Thank you all from the pit of my stomach
But it's always better to burn out than to fade away...
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
I LOVE YOU
Cigarette smoke burns our throats
As we strike to light another
Sitting on the steps
Just outside the playground
Cause no pets are allowed
Our eyes are wet and leaking
But we have no reason for it
With the shirts on our backs
That hold such bittersweet memories
Cause no one's though to wash them out
So we put the songs on repeat
Just to memorize the lyrics
The lyrics that mean nothing
The lyrics that say everything about my life
It's just Dead-Birds and Floorboards
And these walks we take
Are only meant to clear our heads
But all we end up with are
Suicidal thoughts, fragile bones
And piles of cigarette butts
We call each other
And talk first of nonsense
But somehow get to life
Teenage angst and fucked up memories
That we can't help but dream about
So we put these songs on repeat
Just to memorize the melodies
The chords that don't mean anything
The chords that change our lives
And it's just Gig Life and Low Light Assembly
Perhaps we're meant to sing along
And dance to the rhythms
But in this night, tonight
All I see are the friends I hate
And piles of cigarette butts
Half an hour's gone by
And she is still in bed with him
Doing nothing but talking
But he's soon to make his move
He's a stupid, shitty kid
I hope his girlfriend breaks him
My grandma's in the hospital
She feel and broke her arm today
My mother came home now
Yelling and screaming and blaming
I need a cigarette
Or maybe even two
Chain smoking and incense
To relieve the stress
To relieve the stress
Writing and talking
To relieve the pain
To relieve the pain
She yells "I'm so fucking done"
But crawls back to the root of it all
His from a thousand miles
Apparently do nothing at all
She just needs a cigarette
Or maybe even two
Sitting here legs bobbing
Don't know what to do
Look around the room
My art, my art,
Whatever that is
Mind's racing
But it's up against the tortoise
Slow and steady wins the race
So why, oh why
Does speed make sense
Piles and piles and piles and then
(I can't feel my legs)
Fires and fires and fires and then
(I can't feel my heart)
This coma comes back and then
The cycle loops around
Songs about myself
Felt like bitch again
I can't help it
My problems, my problems
Whatever those are
Shirts from bands
Bands you've prob'ly never heard of
They're too punk
My taste, my taste
You'd prob'ly call it hipster
Falling and falling and falling and then
(I can't see my knife)
Smoking and smoking and smoking and then
(I can't see my life)
This coma comes back around...
SO FUCK OFF!
I think I like to put myself into some kind of stress related to school or whatever. I do something and want it to be perfect to the point that I stress myself out. It's probably not a good thing. But what I have noticed is that I write more often when I'm stressed. But then writing brings my stress level down, but I still want to write. So I'll stress myself out again, then write, then stress, then write. It's probably not healthy. But whatever. I'll go on grinding my teeth and wearing myself down for the love of words.
If I ever wrote a book, half of the words would just be profanity. Or I would just have a chapter of only profanity.
I can't even post without hesitation anymore because she knows this exists. What I write is my business whether it be about you or Jim Carrey, for Christ's sake. No point of your privacy was breeched because the only people who read this are maybe two or three people that I know and you don't and you will never know them. So why the fuck should you care. If you didn't know it was me writing this, you wouldn't give a fuck. So piss off.
Three months is all we had.
We had this whole summer.
We had our highs and we had our high highs
You were my peach
It's Shark week and I was bitten
Bitten by your eyes as well as your teeth
You tore into my heart but I didn't mind one bit
Cause you were my peach
But this is a breakup song and I don't care if I ever record it
You said you cannot handle being emotionally involved
And I get it, you've got your problems, guess I've got mine too
I'm not mad and I don't blame you
I only wish it would have worked out better
You go off to college in a few weeks
But I'm still stuck in Jersey
With all these old friend
Who will only remind me of you, of you, of you
And I just wanna go to all these concerts
And maybe lose myself in the music
And maybe forget all about you
But maybe I don't wanna forget
But this is a breakup song and I don't care if I ever record it
You said you cannot handle being emotionally involved
And I get it, you've got your problems, guess I've got mine too
I'm not mad and I don't blame you
I only wish it would have worked out better
I can't forget
No I can't forget
No I can't forget
This song is pretty fucking straightforward
This is a breakup song and I don't care if I ever record it.
Q: What's your life motto?
My answer: Either "Normal is boring" or "Whatever. Shit happens."
Night has come just after 8
And she is just sitting on the bench
In the park across the street
Tears flowing for the guy
Who didn't even know he had her
But she wears her tears
Like medals of honor and duty
To show the world that she's broken
Or that she know she's stupid
To have not seen what has happened before
She starts to yell
To ease the pain
She yells "I'm such a fucking hypocrite
I'm such a fucking hypocrite
I'm such a fucking hypocrite"
But they're all just tin men
But none of them want a heart
1. I saw a lot of friends today again because of school.
2. I get to read Sir Gawain and the Green Knight soon.
3. My cooking class has a hot blonde teacher.
4. I got another sneak preview of a new album from McCafferty. Check them out at http://mccafferty.bandcamp.com/
5. I made a girl's night better by yelling positive lyrics at her.
Welp. Today's the first day back at school. Yeah. A Friday. But whatever. The school is run by retards. Again, whatever. Regardless, here's to a great Junior year. *raises green tea like champagne*
Allons-y!
Q: What's your favorite quality of yourself.
A: My ability to (usually) brush things off and not stress about them. I say usually because there are some things you can't help stressing over, but I usually don't stress over the day to day drama or arguments that a lot of people stress over.
Fuckfuckfuckfuck fuck going back to prison, ahem, school. Greds r dum, fuk shit, dun wonna wak up at fiv am fock feck rack fick
Q: Do you ever just have a dream so perfect that you wish it could be true? And you try your hardest to dream it again, but it just doesn't work?
A: Yes, but my dreams are just what I want in reality. And because of that I just wake up sad as I realize that it probably won't happen.
It's been a month
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Whenever I see her tweet
A little fire burns in my head
I'm not mad at her
I'm could never be mad at her
I feel a thousand different things
Because my emotions have been scattered.
For a split second
I want to split my head
And for a split second
I want to split hers too
But I am not angry
I'm not an angry person
I keep my self distracted
With YouTube, friends, and music
Facebook's getting old
But I've tweeted over 2000 tweets
I'd rather not see hers
But I can't make myself unfollow
So Instead I do this:
Write these shitty songs about her
Write these shitty songs about me
Write these shitty songs about us
About what we used to be
About what I still want to happen
I write these shitty songs for you.
Q: What sets you apart from everyone?
A: Everything, yet nothing. I'm unique just like everyone else. Ironic, right? I'm the only person who likes all the things I like, and hates all the things I hate. No one else in the world is exactly like me, but the same can be said for everyone else, so does that then mean that I am not unique? I don't know. Either way, life goes on. There is no reason for me to dwell on such things. We are who we are who we are.
Twenty years ago today
The doctor snipped my life support
And now I've got no place to stay
And no good news to report
What I was thinking
Buying that new Dodge Challenger
The gas is way to much
You think I've disappointed her?
The second I turned eighteen
I littered my body with all these tattoos
The second I turn twenty-one
I'll already be drowning in booze
She had her good intentions
But I never gave her a second thought.
The things she tried to teach me
All went down the toilet once I turned sixteen
I'll come home high as fuck
And she'll just tell me to sleep
And when I wake up next morning
There'll be no words; I'll leave in my Jeep
I had much better plans
It wasn't supposed to go this way
I'm sorry, Mom, I am.
I'll try to get it together some day
Have I disappointed you?
If so, I can't blame you
I'm sorry, Mom, I really am
I'm so sorry, Mom, you can't know how badly
I'm sorry, Mom, but I'm still your boy
I'm sorry, Mom, I really am.
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'M SORRY
Question: There are 4 types of people: marshmallows, eggs, avocados, and rocks. Which do you think you are?
My Answer: Probably an avocado. Kinda have a hard exterior, but can be cut with a sharp enough thing like trust. Then a lot of me is easy to get through, like my opinions and self esteem and such. But deep down, there is that part that is almost impenetrable. My real feelings, my real fears. Not to say that the other stuff isn't real, just not as in depth. But with time and care, you may see my seed crack and revel in the mysteries that are my sprout.
Holy fuck. I saw The World Is A Beautiful Place & I am No Longer Afraid To Die, Modern Baseball, One Hundred Year Ocean, and Pity Sex last night. The venue was and old seventies bowling alley where they took out four or five lanes to make the stage and solid floor. Fucking. Crazy. We met three really awesome people and hung with them the whole night. When Modern Baseball played the most pit was awesome and fun with a dance circle and everything. I stage dove and my glasses fell off and broke, but whatever. I have a warranty. Then The World Is played and the most pit got waaaaay rowdier. I somehow got close enough to the stage to get my foot on it and jump backwards at almost the perfect time. I crowd surfed for a good thirty seconds till I was dropped off at right in front of the lead singer. There was a point that he was so close that his beard rubbed up against my head.
Best fucking concert. And there weren't even that many people. I got Modern Baseball to sign their CD and I got a The World Is tee and record. Fuck yes.
Also got high with my friend afterwards.
Also again, it was the best time I've had since my girlfriend and I broke up.
(You have one unheard message. First unheard message: Hey I'm on my way, what are we doing tonight?)
We could smoke, we could hike
We could drink all damn night
I would do anything with you
I would do anything at all
Now the sun's dipped down
And the moon's come out to play
The stars are slowly showing
So we cannot look away
If we do, it breaks the magic
Of this gorgeous night
But if the magic's always there
Then the magic won't be slight
And in the time that it takes us to get comfy
Another car will pass us by
And our pose is slightly shifted
To a pose that we don't like
(So now what?)...
We could smoke, we could hike
We could drink all damn night
I would do anything with you
I would do anything at all
We could skate, we could laugh
We could have a movie night
I'll still do anything with you
I'll still do anything at all
We could camp, we could rock
Or just sleep till daylight
As long as I'm with you
I will never ever fall
(Hey I had a really great time with you last night, call me back so we can go out again)
Now the sun's dipped down
And the moon's come out to play
The stars are slowly showing
So we cannot look away
If we do, it breaks the magic
Of this gorgeous night
But if the magic's always there
Then the magic won't be slight
My back's stretched out
My eyes fixed on the fan
Soft piano flows from the record
And tears like never before
Rush down and cool my warm cheeks
They were sudden and they were violent
Like angry hornets being set free
They've been there for too long
Longing for the day my bottle would burst
So what if I live
Who cares if I die
So what if I tell the truth
Who cares if I lie
In the long run
In the big picture
What does it matter
Towards what does it differ
So I leave all my great friends in Tennessee just to come to New Jersey, and make friends with all the seniors just to have them leave for college eight months later. Fuck this.
My first time up there
Beyond my expectations
We lit the fire with our fingers
And our lungs filled with smoke
And the tree tops were our minds' canvas
The things I saw
Some terrible, some wonderous
We went together
And our clothes came off
And her body was my sanctuary
We lit our last flame
Let it burn to it's ash
We quenched our thirst
And laid back down
And dreams were our rabbit's hole
My summer clock
Comes to it's demise
A sad, slow death
Each hour creeping by
And with it's death
Comes the cold
Parallel Universe (@ParaIlel) tweeted at 6:17 PM on Mon, Apr 29, 2013: http://t.co/MdHMypLoPD (https://twitter.com/ParaIlel/status/328996583884595201) Get the official Twitter app at https://twitter.com/download
Really missing my friends... No, family, in TN. I love the North, but not New Jersey. I fucking hate this state, this county, this school, this god damn cold. I could probably deal if I was in the city, but in the fucking mountains where every white male is a wanna be gangster or a dick and all the girls are bitches, no. I hate the South, but I found the people who weren't southern. Molly, Alex, Tim. Hell, I even had some great country friends too. Steven, Joseph, Alley. My whole FUCKING life was down there. I had a 4.0 average. Kept up with my grades. I was on a roll. "Oh yeah, I'm gunna divorce your mother forcing you to move away from your life" FUCK YOU.
*ahem*
Today was pretty okay. Fridays are usually great. I had a great conversation with Molly about when I come to visit. We came up with three possibilities. A, we furiously make out in a corner somewhere; B, we cuddle and talk like before but more; or C, don't do anything and regret it later. I have say I'm pretty down for A and B. That's something I love about her. She's thinks things through beforehand. But anyway, I've got a memoir to write in English and I thin I'm going to write about people I've lost: my uncle Tommy, a previous girlfriend, and my best friend from TN. I might include a poem I wrote shortly after the girl and I split. Or maybe the one I wrote about leaving my friends. I dunno. In reality, it will be a lot like this blog. Full of angst, sorrow among other things. Also, I'm really excited to be getting Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories. It's the only one in the franchise that I haven't played, and since it will be a while before the third comes out and before I can afford a PS4, I'll need something to entertain me. I'm going to go listen to some Streetlight Manifesto and The Front Bottoms and feel angsty now. Bye.
